Hiding in the Car with Hot Chips & a Caramel Sundae

One of the best things about homeschooling is how much time we get with our kids. We’re there for the funny conversations, the lightbulb moments, the ‘can we snuggle on the couch’ moments, the slow mornings and all the little things you’d probably miss if everyone was rushing in different directions every day. It really is a beautiful thing.

But also… you’re with your family. A lot. Like, a LOT. 😂 And sometimes you just want to go to Woolies without answering 200 questions.

There’s something surprisingly luxurious about doing the grocery shopping by yourself. Nobody asking if they can get a treat. Nobody hanging off the trolley. Nobody suddenly announcing they desperately need the toilet when you’re mid check-out. You can just wander around, look at the specials, read a label if you want to and actually finish a thought. Absolute bliss.

Sometimes that’s your time out. Maybe it’s grabbing a hot chocolate and drinking the whole thing without having to share it 5 ways. Maybe it’s going through the local Maccas drive-through, ordering chips and a caramel sundae, parking somewhere quiet and dipping the chips into the sundae while watching Hoarders US on your phone (that’s a very specific scenario, isn’t it?) And if you’ve never dipped Maccas chips into a caramel sundae, I’m not saying you have to… but I am saying you’re missing out. That’s practically a wellness retreat and I’m pretty sure that particular combination has zero calories.

Or maybe you take the long way home just to squeeze another five minutes of silence out of the day. Google Maps says 12 minutes? Wonderful. Let’s see if we can make it 18. No one needs to know.

Or maybe you do what men everywhere seem to have figured out years ago and disappear to the loo for 45 minutes. I don’t know what happens in there. Nobody does. Dad goes to the bathroom and everyone just accepts that he’s gone now. He may return, he may not. We respect his privacy. Mum shuts the bathroom door and LITERALLY within 20 seconds someone’s knocking because they can’t find the blue pencil, need a snack, or have suddenly remembered something incredibly urgent that absolutely cannot wait until you’ve finished doing a wee.

The truth is, you can adore your kids, love homeschooling, love having them home and still occasionally want to sit somewhere completely alone where nobody says the ‘M’ word for an hour. Those things can all be true at once.

For some families, getting time out is fairly easy. They’ve got grandparents, siblings or other family nearby who are practically begging to take the kids. If that’s you, say yes. Don’t do that polite mum thing where you say, “Oh no, it’s okay, you don’t have to.” They offered. Hand over the children. Leave before they change their minds. 😂

And while we’re on the subject, make the absolute most of Mother’s Day and your birthday. Milk it. Milk it for all it’s worth. When my husband asks what I want for Mother’s Day, my response is the same every year… Give me cash and take the kids.

When my mum asks what I want for my birthday? My response is…Give me cash and take the kids.

If the family says, “Mum, you shouldn’t have to do anything today,” don’t argue. Do not ruin this. This is your moment. Sit down. Put your feet up. Look exhausted if necessary. You’ve trained all year for this. If they offer to make dinner, let them. If they offer to clean up, let them. If someone says, “Go have a nap,” you don’t ask twice. You disappear. Birthdays and Mother’s Day are basically mum leave. Use them wisely. 😂

Of course, not everyone has heaps of support around them. For some families, getting even an hour away takes more organisation than an international holiday. Who’s watching the kids? What time can they come? Who needs feeding first? Who needs to be asleep? Who’s likely to wake? Have we left enough snacks? Is it even worth going out after all the effort it’s taken to arrange it?

We’ve had seasons like that too. There were times when the only available family member was one that would come over and just sit in the house. Every single child would have to be asleep and the arrangement was basically, “If anyone wakes up, I’ll ring you.” So we’d go out to dinner and try to relax, but one eye was permanently on the phone. Then it would ring, someone was awake, and that was it. Pay the bill. Forget dessert. Get in the car. GO GO GO. 😂

It probably wasn’t the most relaxing date night in history, but it was what we could do at the time. And that’s the thing: family life comes in seasons. There are seasons where you’ve got babies attached to you all day, seasons when nobody sleeps, seasons where you’ve got heaps of support, and seasons where you feel like it’s all on you. There are seasons where getting out for the night is easy, and seasons where 15 quiet minutes in the car feels like a week in Fiji.

So don’t compare your time out to anyone else’s. It doesn’t need to be a weekend away or a spa day. It doesn’t need to involve candles, robes, massages and cucumber water. Sometimes it’s just a coffee, a walk, a quiet grocery shop, a drive around the block, an hour with a book, dinner with your husband, hot chips and a caramel sundae in the Maccas car park, or sitting in the driveway for five minutes after you get home because technically nobody knows you’re there yet.

Take the pockets of time when you can get them. Accept the babysitting offer. Plan the ridiculously complicated date night. Take the long way home. Make the most of birthdays. Milk Mother’s Day shamelessly. And if all else fails, apparently locking yourself in the bathroom for 45 minutes has been a successful strategy for generations of men, so it might be worth a try.

Homeschooling really is a beautiful way to do family life, and I wouldn’t trade all that time together for anything. But sometimes a little break is exactly what you need so you can come back happy, refreshed and ready to answer the next 200 questions.

Because don’t worry — they’ll have saved them all for you.